Safety in this Christian brotherhood
This is how the room is kept safe, written plainly. It is short on purpose. Two things cannot be posted, nobody reads over your shoulder, and brothers look out for each other by reporting what needs reporting. All of it exists for one reason, so a man can say the true thing out loud without being hunted in his honesty.
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. Ephesians 6:11-18 closes with this charge, and it is the reason this room exists. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying. Safety here is not paranoia. It is watchfulness, and it is prayer.
What this room is, and what it is not
What this room is
The Steadfast Lounge is a private room for Christian men carrying same sex attraction and sexual brokenness. We come before the Lord and before our brothers for redemption and healing. We pray together, we speak honestly, we sharpen one another and we hold one another up. That is the whole purpose, and every rule on this page serves it.
What this room is not
This is not a dating space. This is not a sexual space. There is no cruising, no hooking up, no flirting and no trading of pictures. It is also not therapy, medical care or emergency support. We are brothers in Christ, not clinicians, and we will not pretend otherwise.
Who belongs here
Men 18 and older who want healing and refining. Men who are willing to be honest about their struggle and willing to fight for each other's holiness. If you are looking for company in staying put, this room will not fit you, and that is by design.
The rules every brother agrees to
Before a man creates a profile, he accepts the membership terms and these rules, and the lounge records the agreement and the date. These are not suggestions. They are the price of the room. Every rule is written out in full, with what keeping it looks like and what crossing it looks like, on the covenant page.
No contact information, ever, anywhere
No emails. No phone numbers. No social media handles or usernames. No links. No outside messaging apps of any kind, including Reddit, Snapchat, WhatsApp, iMessage, Telegram, Signal, Discord, Kik and Instagram. Not in your profile, not in a post, not in a comment, not in a journal, not in a devo, not in a prayer request, not in a chat, not in your reading plans or goals, and not in a private message. Disguised versions, like writing an address as name at gmail, are caught the same way.
No sexual solicitation
You may name your struggle honestly and plainly. You may not invite another brother into it. Explicit detail, fantasy, solicitation and anything that treats a brother as a target are blocked before they post. One honest sentence about a temptation is welcome. A door opened toward another man is not.
Conversations stay in this room
There is no way to move a conversation to another app, because there is no way to exchange the details that would make that possible. Beyond that, every brother promises not to carry another brother's private words outside the lounge. What a man confesses here stays here.
Come to build, not to consume
Pray for the brother who posts. Answer the man who asks. If you have nothing to give yet, that is fine. Be quiet as long as you need to be, and give when you are ready.
Honesty over image
Do not pose as someone you are not. Do not create a second account. Do not speak for a brother who is not in the room. The strength of this place is that a man can say the true thing, and anything that undermines that trust gets dealt with.
How the blocking actually works
Two things, and only two
Contact details and sexual content or solicitation cannot be posted anywhere in the lounge. That is the whole list. Everything else you write goes up the moment you write it, with no queue and nobody approving it first.
What that covers
Emails, phone numbers, links, usernames, outside apps and the common ways men spell around those, along with explicit sexual content and anything that treats a brother as a target. Nothing about tone, language or how rough a week you are having is touched.
Nothing you write simply disappears
If one of those two lines stops a draft, you keep every word you typed and you are told which part stopped it. Nothing is filed anywhere and no one is notified. Edit that part and post it.
How moderation works
Nobody reads over your shoulder
Your prayers, posts, testimonies and profile go up as you write them. Rooms and private messages are between brothers. Staff are not sitting in them reading, and nothing waits in a queue for approval. Staff come in when a brother reports something, and can then open the reported item, take it down or act on an account.
Every staff action leaves a record
When a staff member restricts or suspends an account, removes or restores words, closes a chat or opens a private item for review, the name of the staff member, the action, the item and the time are recorded. Power in this room is accountable, the same as everything else.
A suspended brother loses sight of the room
Only an active member can read the lounge. When staff suspend an account, the database itself stops serving him other brothers' posts, comments, reactions, profiles and commitments. He can still see his own writing and nothing more. This is enforced at the data layer, not by hiding buttons.
When a brother breaks the rules
The words are stopped
A blocked draft stays with the man who wrote it, unpublished, with the reason shown. Most situations end here. A brother removes the contact detail or the solicitation and carries on.
A brother reports it
When something troubles a man he reports it, and a staff brother reads that item. Whatever he opens is recorded, along with his name.
A direct word
Where possible, staff speak to the man plainly about what happened and why the rule exists. We would rather correct a brother than lose him, and we say so.
Restriction or suspension
If the pattern continues or the violation is serious, staff restrict what the account can do or suspend it entirely. A suspended account cannot read the room, as described above.
Removal
A man who will not stop endangering brothers is removed. This room exists so men can be honest without being hunted, and a man who hunts gets shown the door. The action, the reason and the staff member are on the record.
Your choices stay yours
Anonymous by default, real if you choose
You appear under a generated handle unless you decide otherwise. On your profile you can choose to show your real name and city instead, and you can change your mind at any time. Your personal details are yours. Administrators can see them for membership and safety work, and a moderator cannot see them unless an administrator grants that permission.
Private journals, chosen accountability
Your journal is private by default. You choose which brothers can read it and you can revoke that access. A prayer request goes to the audience you choose for it. When authorized staff open a private item to protect the room, the read is logged in staff history. You can also sign out of every session at once, and we encourage it, especially on a shared device.
If you see something, say something
If a brother's words trouble you, report them. Reporting goes straight to the staff queue and staff read what you flag. Watchfulness is not gossip. It is part of bearing one another's burdens, and it is how this room stays safe for the man who comes in next.
The longer version
Every step a man takes to get in here, and everything that stays private, is written out on How we protect brothers. The legal side of membership is in the Terms and the Privacy Policy.
What this room will never be
Not a dating space. Not a sexual space. Not therapy, medical care or emergency support. We are brothers, and we point each other to Christ, not to ourselves.